Talking to Your Partner About Swinging

Date 14th Oct 2016 | Views  547

Everybody has a kinky fantasy that they want to explore, and for many, swinging has many appeals. However, finding the right way to talk to your partner about your swinging fantasy is tough. Just what do you say to start talking about your desire to start swinging?


Couples who swing seem to have really strong relationships. They can talk to each other about absolutely anything, so whether they had a bad sex session or they have a hot fantasy that they want to explore, they can talk about it.

In order to discuss swinging with your partner, you need to be able to talk to each other in an open and honest way. This means that, if they tell you about their fantasy, you need to listen to what they have to say and not immediately dismiss it.

We all have ideas in our head about the kind of things that we do and do not want to try, but if you are hoping to try swinging, you will find it much easier to talk to your partner if you already talk about a lot of other things with them.


Trust is one of the most important parts about swinging. If you and your partner do not have that kind of trust between you, it is best not to go into swinging. Some people find that they have problems in their relationship, and they feel that swinging can fix it. However, many experienced swingers will warn you that swinging is not the way to go if you haven't got that trust.

You have to be able to trust your partner with swinging. You might decide that you don't want to go for the full swing, and if you both agree to it, knowing that they won't go further is important.


Before you talk to your partner about it, it is best to take a little bit of time to do some research. This helps you to learn more about the world you want to go into, which is especially helpful for newbies. You can look up glossaries to see what different words and phrases mean and get yourself some more knowledge before you go talking to your partner about it.

It might also be interesting to read about the experience of others when talking to their partner about their interest in swinging. You can see how others approached the subject and how their partner reacted, as well as their first swinging experience together. Really useful stuff!

Another reason that it is great to get this information is so that you can assist your partner later on. If they have any questions that you feel you can't answer as well as somebody on the internet has, you can point them in the direction of your research and leave them to make up their mind.

Starting the conversation

Some people believe that the best time for you to talk to your partner about your fantasies is right after sex. Most people are a lot more open to ideas when they have had an orgasm, and you'll both be lying in bed. It is the perfect chance to talk about what you have been thinking.

Simply explain to them that there is something you have always wanted to try, and that you'd like to discuss the possibility of trying it together. Then tell them that it is swinging and answer any questions that they may have.

More often than not, you'll find that your partner wants a little bit of time to do their research. If they need help with it, tell them the best sites to go to, in your experience. Otherwise, leave them to it. They will want to research at their own pace, so give them the chance and don't nag them about it.

Starting swinging

If your partner then turns around and decides that they want to try it, you'll need to set some ground rules. Some involved in swinging are okay with fucking other people as long as kissing isn't involved. Other prefer to go for soft swing, where everything but penetration is allowed.

You'll need to take the time to sit down with your partner and establish your boundaries. Are there certain things that you consider to be unacceptable? What are you looking for in potential swinging partners? These are all things you need to take the time to discuss before hand.

Another important thing to do is that, when you take that first step, don't dive in at the deep end. Make sure, whether you meet a couple online or go to an event, that it is somewhere with vanilla areas for you to sit down and talk. This means that, if things do get too intense, you have somewhere to go. Make sure you explain to your partner that, if they need to take a break to talk to you, that's fine. You want them to enjoy this as much as you do.

When you get started, make sure your partner feels included. Yes, this is your fantasy, but your partner is willing to explore it with you. By including them, you are showing that you really care about them a lot. Got some other tips you want to share with others? You can join in the discussion on the forum.