Can I Full Swing If My Husband Doesn't?

Date 6th Aug 2015 | Views  917

On the back of my answering a question as to whether it is best to start swinging with friends or complete strangers last week, I got another fascinating enquiry this week. As I'm always here to help, as ever, I was happy to answer once again.

This time it was from a more experienced swinger. For the last three years her and her husband had been doing soft swapping. For those who don't , a soft swap is where you don't go as far as having full sex, but you do other things.

Well, our lady friend was interested in going into full swapping. However, her husband was more reticent about going that far. He felt that full sex was something between the two of them, and really didn't want to share that. After a lengthy discussion, the husband had agreed to let his wife go the whole hog, and he would remain as a soft swapper.

Well, perhaps unsurprisingly, the wife was concerned that this would cause problems down the road. Well, looking for some help, she came to us. This is what I replied with.

My Reply

A lot of this will come down to the communication between the two of you. If you feel that your husband has just relented so you remain happy, then that will never end well. You should really be able to tell if he is content with the idea, and if you can't, that shows more about the relationship than needs saying here.

This will be a case of having the swing and then chatting about it after. Once again you will be able to tell if he is OK with what has just happened. If he would rather just quit and stick to soft swapping, accept that and move on.

One thing that you will struggle with is the fact that you may not be able to find many couples who want to swing in such a fashion. It is very difficult to say to other swingers that you want to sleep with their partner, but they need to not do the same with yours. So if this is the route you are going down, prepare for a bit of disappointment.

I really do wish you luck. As long as you are both happy in the end then that is all that counts. As long as you make your own relationship the most important thing, then you will be fine. It is only when someone's selfish desires take over that there will be a problem.

So do any of you have any questions you want me to answer, just let me know and I will seek to answer them here.