Should I continue Swinging For My Husband?

Date 23rd Sep 2016 | Views  520

Every now and again I get an interesting email from someone who either has a very interesting question, or sometimes a problem. Obviously I make sure that I answer to the best of my ability, remembering of course that I am an experienced swinger, not a counselor.

This week I got one from a lady who was rather stressed about swinging. Instead of me paraphrasing, I will let her say it in her own words.

Issues With Swinging


Me and my husband have recently turned 45 and he suggested we go swinging. We have been having sex with just ourselves for over 20 years and it has to be said, things were getting very stagnant. It seemed like a good idea to spice things up.

We went to a swinging club, and I have to say, the flirting with another couple was very exciting. It is when we actually started to do stuff with the other pair that the problems started. Things went great for him and the other woman. However, in our room, I felt the whole sex thing really uncomfortable with the other guy (he was nice, none of it was his fault) I just couldn't get out of my head that I didn't want my husband shagging anyone else.

We got home, and it is fair to say my hubby was really disappointed as he had had a great time. He wants me to try again and says I will get used to it. However, I really don't want to.

Should I give it a go? I really don't want to upset my husband. I am so confused.

My reply


I am sorry you are stressed. It has to be said, swinging isn't for everybody. Some can compartmentalize, and others can't. There is no point in doing something to please your husband if you are left upset yourself.

The best thing to do is have a word with him, explaining EXACTLY how you feel. If you have a strong relationship, he will understand. There are many other ways to spice up a sex life, it doesn't have to be swinging.

You may even try having a soft swing? This is swinging, but you don't go as far as having full sex. It is very popular for people like you who don't really like the idea of their partner shagging someone else. It all depends whether oral sex and kissing are OK for you. That will be a personal choice, I am just putting options on the table.

That is as much advice as I can give you. I just really hope you sort it out and you all end up happy! We all have our fingers crossed for you here.

Any Further Questions?

Is there anything that you want to get off your chest? If there is, feel free to message me. I will make the effort to answer them as well as I can.