Mayo Swinging - Dealing With Jealousy

Date 31st Jul 2013 | Views  1379

It's a commonly-held belief amongst those outside of non-monogamous communities that swingers, doggers, polyamorists and those in other forms of open relationships don't ever feel jealousy. This is in fact patently untrue. Jealousy is natural, healthy and common, and it comes up in every relationship style everyone has ever tried. The difference between us and people who choose to live strictly monogamous lives is simply that we deal with it differently, both in the Mayo swinging scene and everywhere around the world. Here are a few tips from the pros on how to do just that.

Recognise When Jealousy Occurs

If you're at a Mayo swinging club, party or event, and you feel a pang of jealousy, don't try to ignore it, recognise that it's happening, and accept that it's a valid thing to feel. You might want to take a break from the events of the evening and have a few quiet moments to yourself to think it over and follow the next steps of the process.

Work Out What's Really Going On

'Jealousy' as a simple fact is kind of a myth: really what we describe as being jealousy is made up of any number of other emotions, and usually they have a root cause. Some of the most common include:

- Low self-esteem, and a feeling that the other person might be somehow "better" than you.

- Relationship insecurity and a suspicion that you might not be in some way "enough".

- Simple boredom, because they've got lucky that night and you haven't.

- A feeling of injustice, like you're not getting your needs met by your partner and someone else is

Whatever the reasons, there's a fair chance that at least part of it is more about you than it is about your partner and certainly more than about whoever the other person is.

Concentrate on the Cause, and not the Symptom

If your jealousy is coming as a result of something like what has been described above, the next thing you need to do is try to figure out how to deal with the root problem. Maybe there's something you need to talk over with your partner if so, make sure you do that after the party is over and not while you're all still there. Maybe you just need to concentrate on your own self-esteem, in which case there are any number of good tactics to help do that once the night has come to a close.

If it's more simple than that say, you're feeling jealous because your partner has now gone off with someone else to swing and you're left in the bar by yourself, then all you need to do is concentrate on having fun without them. Hit the dance floor, chat with friends, see if you can't find someone who's interested in you to spend some time with. There's a wonderful swinger's community in Mayo, and there are bound to be plenty of people around who will understand what you're going through and want to help you have fun.