The Need To Know Guide Of Swingers Parties!

Date 24th Jun 2016 | Views  618

Swingers parties are a hell of a lot of fun to attend, but if you aren't familiar with them or what you do when you are there, learning the etiquette can be difficult. You want to make sure you know all of the rules and what is acceptable before you get started.

Not sure where to start when looking for the things you need to know about swingers party etiquette? Here on Swingers we have put together the things that you need to know to ensure you have a fun time swinging.

Know what you are comfortable with

You can do a lot of preparation for the swinging party at home before you go, and we don't just mean having a shower and a shave. Whether you are going to the party alone, or you are taking a partner, there is one piece of etiquette you can sorted before you even leave.

It isn't a good idea to turn up without first thinking about what you are and aren't comfortable with. You might decide that you are happy to spend time with a couple, but the idea of having attention from the man turns you off. Your partner might not want to try full swinging, while you do.

It is a great idea to take the time and establish these limits beforehand, and make sure you are both clear of them. This means that, at the party, you can help and support each other if something comes up that either of you aren't comfortable with.

Safe sex is the best sex

Sex is a hell of a lot of fun, and while many people prefer fucking without condoms, safe sex is a hugely important part of the swinging community. If you don't want to wrap up, that is fine... but don't expect to get laid.

At many parties, there will be places you can get condoms... but it is still a good idea to take your own. It is especially a good idea if you are a man with a bigger or smaller cock, as the condoms you use will better fit your dick. This means that there are less chances of the condoms ripping or slipping, meaning you can keep having fun.

Plus, you don't want to be getting hot and heavy and into the moment, only to realise that you have to go and collect condoms from somewhere. Keeping them close at hand means you can get straight down to it instead.


If you find that you are unsure about swinging etiquette, you should remember one thing: respect. Respect can be applied to all areas of swinging, and this can go a long way to making sure everyone is happy with what is going on.

Been invited to a swinging party? Great! Just make sure you turn up on time. Being punctual to your first party is a huge deal, and arriving late can really turn people off. It can also mean that you don't get invited to future events, which will definitely ruin the fun.

If you suspect you are going to be late, call ahead to let the organisers know. Tell them how long you will be and keep them updated if things change. By keeping them informed, you are showing that you not only respect them, but that you also want to be involved, and this can help you get invitations in the future.

You should also have a lot of respect for those you are swinging with. If you see someone you know, or if you know a little bit about some of the playmates, don't go bragging about it in your every day life. If they have sent you pictures, keep them private and do not pass them on. Would you want them sharing pictures of you around? No. So don't do the same for them.

Watching couples

Some couples at swinging parties will invite you to watch, but not to join in. They like the thrill of fucking in front of others, but this comes with its own rules of etiquette that you need to understand.

The best thing to do is to stay quiet and simply enjoy the show. Sometimes it can be tempting to tell them to do things differently, especially if they have invited your partner to join them, but avoid this. It can be incredibly distracting and a huge turn off for all involved.

Some people like it if you play with yourself, and most of the time, this is perfectly acceptable. Just make sure you keep your distance and try not to interrupt their fun too much.

Keeping everyone involved

If you have managed to hook up with others who share your interests, and you are going to go off and find a nice, secluded corner for your fun, make sure you keep everyone involved.

No-one wants to be the third wheel when it comes to swinging, and the best way to avoid this is to make sure everyone has something to do. Noticed that someone isn't doing as much? Pay them some attention. Ask them what they love doing the most in the bedroom and see if you can make it happen for them.

A lot of the time, it could simply be a lack of communication between you all, so take the time to sit down and talk about what is and isn't acceptable. This will help you figure out what you can and can't do during your fun.

How to refuse politely

You might get to a party and have a great time talking to people and getting to know other couples. You might meet some you get along with and can't wait to see again, or you might find something that you simply do not click with. If so, but they want to pursue things further, you need to learn how to politely refuse.

Don't come up with a number of complicated excuses. Instead, keep it simple. Saying "thank you, but this isn't the kind of experience that interests us" can work well... as long as you mean it. You could even tell them that you have talked it over with your partner and have decided it isn't for you. Just be polite about it and you'll find it much easier to say no.

Of course, this works both ways. If someone refuses you, don't get upset about it. Yes, it can sting a little, but remember that no means no. It doesn't mean "if you keep asking, I'll change my mind", as people who get too pushy at swingers parties can find themselves out of the door and never being invited again.

If you need to cancel

It can happen to all of us. We are so excited to get to the swinging party and have our fun, waiting weeks or months in advance for that night of passion, only for something to come up... so how do you cancel?

If you suspect that you are going to have conflicts of interest in the run up to the night, keep the organiser informed. Let them know as soon as you can what is going on and tell them how likely you are to turn up.

However, if it is something sudden, you need to tell them as soon as possible... just be careful of what excuse you give. Saying "my wife has started her period" is the swinging equivalent of "not tonight, darling, I have a headache". Yes, it could be true, but a lot of hosts will think you are saying it just to get out of the evening... and this could prevent you from getting further invitations.

Try to come up with something else to tell them, and let them know just how sorry you are not to be able to make it. If you give them as much notice as you can, they will usually be happy with that.

Learning swinging party etiquette

Learning the etiquette of swinging parties is hugely important, especially if you are new to the scene. However, the etiquette can change from location to location, so when accepting an invitation to a party, you should ask the host if there is anything you need to know before you go.

It might be that the party is themed with sexy outfits that you must wear, or that they have decided toys are not allowed. The sooner you know these things, the sooner you can prepare.

Got some other rules that you want to share with others? Perhaps you have thought of the perfect way to let another couple know that you are interested in getting to know them intimately? You should let us know by heading over to the Swingers forum and joining in the discussion over there.