Why am I Getting Feelings for Other Swingers?

Date 14th May 2015 | Views  807

I got a very interesting email this week from a new female swinger. After years of debating whether they should venture into this crazy world, they finally decided to go through with it at the back end of last year.

Well, they met another couple, and they have been continuing to see them over the last six months. Unfortunately, she is now starting to have feelings for the other guy, and is worried this will cause problems in her relationship with her husband. She wants to know what she should do to make things easier. Here was my answer to her question.

Too Emotional?

Now I am going to attack this from two angles. You may be one of those people who treats sex as an emotional thing, rather than a physical thing. To put it crudely, it goes on in their head, rather than their pants.

If this is the case, then swinging may not be for you. Swinging isn't an excuse to have an affair; it is a case of us embracing our primal urges, having sex with other people, but having the strength in our relationship at home so nothing is effected. In fact, it could actually be improved.

However, reading between the lines of your question, it seems there is a possibility that you are doing swinging in completely the wrong manner.

When you are swinging, you should really be sampling the delights of many other people. It isn't just a case of seeing one particular couple who you get it it on with on a regular basis. That is more like an affair that your partner allows because he is having one himself.

What I would do is branch out; meet new couples who you can get to know. You can do this at local swingers clubs, or right here at Swingers.ie.

This will be a good test for you. If you start getting emotionally attached with other people every time you have sex with them, they you really shouldn't be swinging. You are not of the right mindset.

However, it could go the other way. You could find that you start to break the link between having sex with other people, and starting to have feelings for them. If that is the case, then you will be entering an exciting, sexy world.

Who Knows What The Future Holds?

I really can't tell you where this will end up. If I said I did, then I would be nothing more than a liar. However, what i can say, is if you change things up a bit, then you may find that beneficial.

If you find that swinging isn't for you, sit down and talk to your husband about it. If you have a strong relationship, he will understand. If it causes problems, then you probably shouldn't be swinging anyway as there are serious issues there anyway.

We hope you found that useful. If you or anyone have any problems or random questions, don't hesitate to ask.