My Wife is Feeling Guilty - What Should I do?

Date 9th Dec 2016 | Views  522

This week I got another fascinating question from one of our members. It seems that people are under the impression I know what I am talking about! Well, I only offer advice as I have been doing this far too long, but if I am able to help someone out, that is fine by me.

It came from a guy who was a bit worried his wife was feeling guilty about their swinging. Here is what he wrote.

A Interesting Question


A couple of months ago, me and my wife had a swinging experience. We have been doing it for a while, so I thought it would be nothing out for the ordinary. However, it seems that it may have caused a few issues.

As ever, I went into one room with the other female, and my wife went off with the guy. Things went well between me and her, but seemed to be going even better in the other room. My wife was making noises she had never made with me. I have to be said, I was happy for her.

However, she now won't talk about the experience with me. It is like she has completely closed down. I can only think she feels guilty for enjoying it too much.

In the last few weeks I have asked about when we can go swinging next as she doesn't seem up for it. What should I do?

Here is what I responded with.


There is a very good chance that you are right. However, there are ways to deal with it and ways to not deal with it.

Don't come straight out and ask how she feels. That will sound like some WWII style Nazi interrogation, and if she is feeling nervous and insecure, she will just clam up again.

What you need to do is remind her how beautiful she looked that night, and how happy you were that she was enjoying herself. (be genuine, don't sound sickly) This should relax her a bit and gradually, she will begin to talk about the experience a bit more.

Look at it from her perspective. She knows you aren't deaf so you will have heard her. She may think you are feeling insecure, which according to what you told me, you aren't. A lot will be going through her mind, so be patient, don't jump the gun, and it should settle down in its own time.

I hope that was useful for you. Let me know how it goes.

Any Other Questions?

If you have any other questions, please let me know. I know full well from when I was less experienced, there aren't many people in the real world you can ask about this kind of stuff. This is why I am always here for you.

Until then, see you next week!